your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
