This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize