u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
