Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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