I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize