So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
