i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
