Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just want to make out with him forever
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
