Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
