i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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