I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
