How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
