Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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