Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
