she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
