Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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