a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
