Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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