Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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