get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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