wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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