I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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