If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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