I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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