Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
