And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
