they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We need a shit load of segways right now
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
