I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
