Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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