Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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