We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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