He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
