the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
