last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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