...so i touched it.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
