he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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