I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
