So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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