It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
