so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
