It's like God shit irony all over that family
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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