she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
