I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
