Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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