come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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