youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
