Where are you?
In a non slutty way
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Randomize
