i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
