You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
