glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
