We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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