I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm too high and old for this...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
