I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
it hurts more in the daytime
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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