it wasn't lemon gatorade
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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