tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
