I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
