I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
