I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
