And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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