dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
