Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
