She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Success! We fucked roommates!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
