We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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