Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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