found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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