Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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