All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I accidentally burped into my bong.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
