She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
