Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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