Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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