It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
