I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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