JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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