do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
