ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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