would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
