When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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