One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
