Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
