Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart

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(302): View more from Delaware

Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life

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(503): View more from Oregon

I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.

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(562): View more from California

bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.

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(316): View more from Kansas

Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.

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(847): View more from Illinois

That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.

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(407): View more from Florida

Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.

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