Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize