9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
